Viewing people from your perspective and only yours will eventually lead you to start giving people a specific name, AKA labeling them. Labeling them tends to be an act of aggression ( picking at them ). Those people ( unless you are a professional and have vast and broader terms to label people) will tend to dispute and be considered disrespectful, especially when they will not admit and accept it.
This story is related to an incident that happened on the 28th of Dec 2017; on our way back from a new shop in Khalifa City around 10:00 PM, I expressed to my wife without prior notice that my wife seemed like an attention seeker and sought approval from others about a previous family gathering on Friday. She didn’t receive those labels lightly and became aggressive and defensive to the extent that she wanted to respond with her views on me. She demanded on what basis that I assumed those labels. I should have been quiet and tried to learn more about how she thinks, and in the long run, I should have acted on them to treat her better. Full-head confrontation with her is impossible, and she will always be aggressive and defensive regarding anything that she assumes is negative feedback about herself.
“Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people.” –Martina Navratilova
So, what did I learn from this situation?
- No confrontation unless with unrefutable evidence.
- The choice of words ( labels) should be
- non-negative, positive, and constructive.
- Broad terms.
- The selection of time is appropriate to state my point of view.
- Don’t assume, but let her say it herself from her point of view; let her express her opinion on my statements. I can’t stress this enough: make sure you are not fighting and telling facts, but let her feel /assume that you’re trying to understand how she thinks and let her talk.
